I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize