They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
