Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize