What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
