Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Randomize