At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
