I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
