I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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