people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My liver is preforming stress tests.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
