I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
