alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
