I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
