Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im holly from the hills drunk
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
