What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
