the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We have started to decorate penises.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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