Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
