She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
