just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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