wat bout pragnant strippers??
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
