I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
