College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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