I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
