its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
