16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
