What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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