yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
