I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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