When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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