oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
