We tried having a conversation with our noses.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
