Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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