I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
