think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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