My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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