hell yes lets make some ravioli
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize