Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
