dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
