she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
