I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
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