can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
