Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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