the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize