I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
