yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
