is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
