Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
