all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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