Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
