threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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