its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
