Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
