Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
