Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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