apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I could fuck to npr.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
