Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
