i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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