Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize