Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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