He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
where are my pants?
in the oven.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize