No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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