life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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