No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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