how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
