Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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