erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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