Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
