Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
