Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
is wine microwaveable?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
