shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Holy sore nipples Batman
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
