Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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